Gannooch's Episode Reviews

"Quiz Show":
Episode #2
TV: (Hasn't been shown on TV)
VCR: Attached to "Catch A Star"
DVD: (Hasn't been released on DVD yet)

Ralph and Alice come home from being on a quiz show with a lot of
Crinkley Cracks Cereal. Ralph slams the door and the whole set
shakes. I should also mention that the video of this episode isn't
exactly 100% great. Look at the right when you watch this episode and
you will notice the blurriness. Ralph: "Well, are you satisfied? Are
you saitisfied?" Alice: "Yes, I am satisfied. I am satisfied."
Ralph: "Well, you ought to be satisfied. Thanks to your wrong answer
on that quiz program, we have now won a year's supply of Crinkley
Cracks." You think that Ralph would be happy that Alice tried her
best to answer that quiz show question, but no. This is Ralph
Kramden, we are talking about people. Alice: "During the ride home in
the cab, you were yelling at me from the top of your lungs."
Ralph: "I had too. There was so many boxes between us that I could
not see you." Ralph complains about how he has to face the people
down in the garage. Meaning that in this episode, Ralph works for a
taxi cab company.

Ralph goes on a tangent on what would happen if they had won. Him and
Alice also have an arguement when they talk about there family
members. Ralph says those Crinkley Cracks are no prize. Alice: "Well,
what harm can it do? We can use them for something." Ralph agrees. He
can use them on the steps. That way, he will be warned when his
mother-in-law is coming. Ralph and Alice then have an arguement about
Alice's parents.

Ed comes in. He looks around and says: "Looks like you robbed the
A&P." Ralph then talks about what happened on the quiz show and how
he answered all his questions correctly and how Alice didn't. Ed says
that one time he was on a quiz show, he couldn't answer the first
question that they gave him because of nervousness. That being his
name. Ha!

"Happy" Larry Barnabee along with several other people come in. He
explains Alice's question was: "Who was President after Grover
Clevland?" He assumed that it was wrong. He later found out that
Alice was right since Grover Clevland had two unconsecutive terms.
That's the first time that quiz show made a mistake. Since Alice got
her question right, it was now Ralph's turn. D'oh. Not something that
Ralph wants to hear.

They set up the recording device so they can record the host's
question and Ralph's answer. "Happy" Larry Barnabee: "Mr. Kramden,
what did Marconi invent?" Ralph: "Marcaroni." Ha! Ralph gets told
that his answer was wrong. Ralph has been mad at Alice for no reason.
The host of the quiz show says: "Mr. Kramden, too bad you are not as
smart as your wife."

Ralph apologizes to Alice and she accepts.

The End

"The Cold"
Episode #3
TV: Attached to "Expectant Father."
VCR: Attached to "Ralph's Sweet Tooth" & "Pickles."
DVD: Unknown.

I haven't seen this episode in a long time, so I might forget some
things.

In this episode, Ralph has a terrible cold. Alice is trying to nurse
him back to health. Trixie comes by, but of course if you see this
episode on TV, Trixie is already in the opening scene.

As Alice is trying to help Ralph, Ralph manages to hurt himself. I
don't know how he hurt himself, but he did. As he is howling in pain,
you can see Joyce Randolph trying her best not to laugh. It was that
funny.

After Trixie leaves, ralph asks Alice to take off something on his
back. (I can't remember what.) Taking it off is painful for Ralph. So
after Alice is halfway through taking it off, Ralph thinks that she
has taken it all of his back. She reveals that she only took some of
it off. D'oh! Not something that Ralph wanted to hear.

Ralph tells Alice a story on how he knew someone who won money and
lost it. Alice tells Ralph that she took out a life insurance policy
on him. Ralph of course has a fit and accuses her of wanting to see
him die. She calls her selfish. Alice then says that she took a life
insurance policy on her too. Ralph says that he's sorry and Alice
forgives him.

The End

"Pickles"

The episode opens with Ralph and Alice retuning home after going on a
long shopping spree. Immediately, they get into an arguement on what
Alice spent that day. If you see this episode on TV, you will notice
that the episode begins right in the MIDDLE of the arguement.

Ralph is upset that Alice just spent his whole paycheck: $42.50 a
week. Ralph says that he doesn't want his salary revealed to the
whole building. So Alice yells: "$42.50 A WEEK! $42.50 A WEEK! $42.50
A WEEK!" Ralph decides that Alice wants to make it public, so he
makes it public by yelling out the window what he earns per week.
This same spiel by both would be repeated in two more episodes "The
Next Champ" & "Brother Ralph." But in the latter episode, Ralph
decides not to make his salary public and another difference is that
in both episodes, he earns $62 a week.

Ralph is also complaining that he's tired of Alice dragging him all
over the neighborhood for her shopping spree. One of the things Alice
did was walk three more blocks from one store to another store to buy
pickles. She says she saved a few cents by doing that becuase int he
other store they were in, pickles cost more. Now if it was me, I
would have bought the pickles from the store that I was in rather
than walk three more blocks just to save a few cents, but considering
how "rich" Alice and Ralph were, Alice's plan would make more cents.

Ralph says because Alice spent his whole paycheck, he doesn't have
any money,much like Alice. But, when Ed Norton comes down to borrow
$5, Ralph is more than happy to give it to him. He hid the money in a
very safe place. Ed leaves. Alice complains that Ralph lied. But
Ralph says, since he used the $5 that Ed borrowed, he now doesn't
have enough money to buy Alice her anniversary present. Alice thought
that Ralph forgot. So when the present arrives at the house, Ralph
says he has no money. So Alice pays for it, by getting the money that
she hid in a very safe place.

Ralph now knows that ALice lied to him also. Alice reveals that she
was going to use that money to buy Ralph a gift. After she says that,
Alice says that she needs a pickle. Ralph jumps to the conclusion
that they are going to have a baby. He gets so excited, but then
Alice breaks the news to him that she has an alergy and she needs
those pickels to help her get cured. But, she says that one of these
days, they will have a baby. The only baby, they ever wound up having
was one in which they adopted and had to give it back to the original
mother. The storyline in which Ralph thought that Alice was pregnant
was repeated a few times after they made this episode.

Next episode review: "Jellybeans."

Episode Review: "Jellybeans"

TV: Attached to "Goodnight Sweet Prince."
VCR: Attached to "Cottage For Sale."
DVD: Attached to "Hot Dog Stand", "Alice Plays Cupid" and "Cottage
For Sale."

The episode opens up with Ralph seeing how many jellybeans he can put
into the can jar. Alice comes home after visiting her ill mother. She
says that she wnats to buy a dress that is on sale. Alice eventually
notices that Ralph hasn't said hello to her and is still counting.
Alice asks him what he is doing. Ralph responds by saying that on his
way home, he stopped by a store and in the store they had a contest
in which you had to guess how many jellybeans are in the jar. He got
an idea. He got a jar that looks like the one the store had and
bought some jellybeans. I don't know what the name of the store is.
He figures that without guessing on his part, he will win the prize
which he thinks is $100. Alice says that Ralph's head is full of
jellybeans.

Alice says to Ralph to come with her so she can buy the dress.
Alice: "Come on! Hurry up! The sale ends tonight." Ralph: "So does
the contest. I am not leaving until I finish counting." Alice says
that the first night of the sale, she couldn't go because Ralph was
tired and on the second night, she couldn't go because Ralph had to
go bowling. Question: Why does Alice need Ralph to get the dress? Is
it because she thinks it isn't safe for her to be walking down the
street with a dress all by herself? Just a thought.

Ralph makes a mistake in counting. He says: "4,442" so Alice corrects
him by saying that there is no 4,443 jellybeans in the jar.
Ralph: "Why are you getting me all mixed up for? Now, I have to start
all over again." I am not to sure if her correction was correct.

Ed Norton comes in wearing his traditional Ed Norton outfit, but only
this time he's wearing a white tank top rather than a white t-shirt.
Ralph is still counting, but he forgot how many jellybeans are in the
jar, so he asks Alice who says: "3,478." Forget about the fact that
she said that there was more than 4,000 jellybeans in the jar a few
seconds ago. Ralph is worried that he will forget, so he tries to
write the number down. As he does this, Ed decides to eat some of the
jellybeans in the jar. Ralph: "Why did you eat those jellybeans for?"
Ed: "What is the matter? What are they, poisned?" Ralph: "No, they
are counted."

Ralph says to Ed that he is in a contest and explains the rules of
the contest to Ed. Ed says that all those contests are crooked.
Ed: "I was in a contest once. You had to name all the states. I got
gyped out of the first prize. I named 66 states. The guy that won
only named 48." This was before the U.S. had 50 states. Question:
Where did Ed get all the other states from, Canada, other countries?
Ralph says that Ed is a mental case.

Ralph says that he is finished counting. So he asks Ed is he can use
his phone that is in the kitchen. Ed says that Trixie is dressing in
there because there is no window shade in the bedroom. Ralph: "Could
you call the people at the store and tell them that the number of
jellybeans is 4,450." Ed: "4,000 what?" Ralph: "4,550." That is not a
typo folks. Ralph once again got the number wrong. Question: Doesn't
Ralph know that if Ed called with the right answer, that the people
at the store will assume that Ed is the winner? Just a thought. Ed
leaves.

Ralph says that he is finished counting. Alice says that she has had
one dress in the last five years. Ralph says that she has had a blue,
pink, brown, and a green dress. Alice: "Yup, this is it and I have
run out of dye."

Ed comes back with the great news that Ralph has won the contest. Ed
syas that the first prize isn't $100. Ed says that it's a gift
certificate meaning that if you buy a $1,000 worth of furniture at
that store, you get a $100 worth free. Ralph: "What kind of prize is
that? Ed: "It's not a total loss. You can stick this jar of
jellybeans in the window and win your own contest." Question: How is
that idea supposed to win Ralph money? Ed leaves.

Alice notices that the $10 that she was going to use ofr the dress is
gone. (The dress was $10 on sale.) Ralph says that he bought the
jellybeans wiht the money. Ralph says with the $100 that he was
planning to win, one of the things he was going to buy her was a new
Thanksgiving outfit. (This episode was shown just before Thanksgiving
in 1952.) Ralph says he is sorry. Alice forgives him. Alice: "Ralph,
I got you and that's plenty to be thankful for." Ralph: "You're the
greatest."

Next review: "Alice Plays Cupid."

Episode Review: "Alice Plays Cupid":

Episode #6
TV: Attached to "Ralph's Diet".
VCR: Attached to "Hot Dog Stand".
DVD: Attahced to "Hot Dog Stand", "Jellybeans" and "Cottage For Sale".

Before I begin this reveiw, let me say this minor point. On the TV
Land website, they label this episode as "Ralph Plays Cupid." Did the
episode get retitled or was this an error on TV Land's part?

I have the TV version of this episode, so the episode opens up with
Ralph coming home with Ed and Alice already there. You can almost
tell that the beginning of this episode has been edited on TV. Alice
asks Ralph is she got waht she asked for at the bakery. Ralph says
yes he did, but this will be the last time that he ever gets anything
on his way home. Why? Ralph waited at the bakery and he saw a sign
that said: "Pick A Number." Ralph waits for a half-hour and says to a
lady that he has been waiting longer than anybody else that's on line
and he has a number from the "Pick A Number" sign. The lady
says: "You took the price tag off a birthday cake." You think Ralph
would tell the difference between a price tag and an ordinary number
tag (unless of course there was no $ sign on it.) Ed found the
situation funny, but sees that Ralph is upset about it, so he leaves.

Ralph sees four seats at the table and wonders why. He says that the
person that is coming over, George, is single. Alice asked Henrietta
to come over. Alice: "She is a nice single girl." Ralph is worried
that he will be transferred over to drive a bus over at Staten
Island. George is the traffic manager at the bus company, so he is in
charge of those decisions.

Ralph sees all the food that Alice has out. Ralph says that any day
he can get this food in a restaurant. Alice says that Ralph should
take him to one. Ralph: "That won't be neccessary. All I have to do
is put up a sign that says 'Take off your hat and coat.' and he won't
know the difference." Gee, that's giving your boss a lot of credit as
far as his intelligence, is it?

Henrietta, a big lady, comes over and says the funny story that
happened at the bakery. She said that some dope took the price tag
off a birthday cake, thinking it was a regular number on the "Pick A
Number" sign. Henrietta notices that the dope (aka Ralph Kramden) is
married to Alice. Ralph helps Henrietta off with her boots but
accidently pulls Henrietta to the floor. Henrietta goes into the
bedroom.

George comes over and after exchanging "Hellos", he gets notified
that a single girl is also over too. George says that he's already
engaged. Ralph: "You should see this monster (Henrietta)." The
audience laughs as if they know what the relationship between George
and Henrietta is. The girl is revelead as Henrietta. George gets
upset that Ralph called Henrietta a monster so they leave. As they
leave, George says to Ralph that he will be tarnsferred over to
Staten Island. D'oh! Not something that Ralph wanted to hear. But,
Ralph and Alice laugh it off anyway.

Next Episode Review: "Suspense."

Episode Review: "Suspense."

Episode #7
TV: Attached to "Two Tickets To The Fight."
VCR: Attached to "Letter To The Boss" & "Dinner Guest."
DVD: Attached to "Letter To The Boss", "Dinner Guest" and "Ralph
Kramden's Greatest Schemes."

The episode opens with Alice and Trixie rehearsing for an upcoming
play. In the play, Alice mentions that she is going to kill someone.
Trixie thinks that Alice will be great in the play. Some boy comes by
to deliver some pills for Ralph. Alice doesn't have anything to offer
the boy in exchange. She offers a banana, but he declines saying
that "He's not a monkey." He leaves. Alice and Trixie rehearse their
lines for the play in the bedroom.

Ralph & Ed come in and overhear what Alice and Trixie are saying.
Ralph thinks that Alice is going to kill him. When Ralph hears that
Alice says that everytime "he" kisses her, she gets violently sick.
Ralph assumes that Alice is taking about him. Ralph also says that
everytime that he kisses Alice, he gets weak and breaks out into a
sweat. Ed: "How do you like that, she makes you sick too." Alice and
Trixie meets the two boys. Trixie and Ed leave. Ed says to
Ralph: "See you tomorrow...I hope."

Ralph talks about what he heard in the bedroom, so Alice assumes he
is taking about the play. Alice: "I have been in a mental rut lately
and this is something that I always wanted to do." Alice says that
her family might come in and see it. Ralph gets upset becuase he
thinks that Alice's family wants him dead. Alice: "My sister may come
in from Pittsburgh." Ralph gets upset all the more. Alice: "My mother
is all for it." Ralph gets upset more. Alice offers Ralph the pills.
Ralph naturally thinks that the pills are poison.

Ralph then tells Alice what he heard Alice say in the bedroom. He
says that she is planning to kill him. Alice then decides to play a
joke on Ralph saying that the pills are poison but she is going to
digest the pills. She does. Ralph is frantic, thinking that Alice is
going to die. So, he calls Norton down and tries to help
Alice "recover." Ralph says that he loves Alice. Ed comes down and
Ralph tells him that Alice needs to "recover." Ralph gets the First
Aid book bu he's too nervous, so Ed reads it. Alice then "recovers"
and says she was playing a joke on Ralph. Ralph: "Norton, get out of
here. Me and Alice are going to have a fight." Ed leaves.

Ralph: "Alice, for the first time since we have been married, I am
going to beat you up." Alice says that he isn't because he loves her.
Ralph says: "Well, I mean it." They kiss.

Credit to Amazon.com. and honeymooners.net.

Episode Review: "Lost Job."

TV: Attached to "Guest Speaker."
VCR: Attached to "Goodbye Aunt Ethel." on Vol. 24
DVD: Unknown.

The episode opens up as Ralph Kramden comes home from a day's work.
The Kramdens and Nortons are planning to go to the Royal Chinese
Gardens for dinner. Ralph mentions something about a guy by the name
of Irvine Sharpio. For some reason, the audience laughs when he says
that. Was he a guy who worked for The Jackie Gleason Show and/or The
Honeymooners?

Ralph and Alice notice that Ralph brough home a pink slip. Uh oh! You
know what that means, right? Ralph thinks he got fired after 12 years
of working for the bus company. Question: In the episode titled "Quiz
Show" that aired about several months before this one, didn't Ralph
say he worked for a cab company? (Also, notice that in the next
season, Ralph said he worked for the bus company for nine years. A
season or tow after that, he siad he has worked for the bus company
for 15 years. Wow! Talk about factual errors.) The Nortons come down
and now Ralph & Alice can't afford to go out with the Nortons. The
Nortons leave.

A person from the bus company comes up to take Ralph bowling. Ralph
doesn't want to go. Ralph explains how he brought home a pink slip.
The guy laughs, saying that they never used those pink slips in years
and that Ralph brought home the wrong thing so he's not fired. Ralph
gets upset at him, then later calms down. Now, Ralph wants to go
bowling with him, but the other guy, upset with Ralph, leaves.
Ralph: "Sore head." Ralph yells at the Nortons, saying that they can
go to dinner now.

Credit to honeymooners.net. & amazon.com.

Next episode review: "Anniversary Gift."

Episode Review: "Anniversary Gift."

Episode #9
TV: Attached to "Finger Man."
VCR: Attached to "Boys & Girls Together."
DVD: Attached to "Boys and Girls Together," "Pickles" & "This Is Your
Life."

This episdoe opens up in the Kramden apartment with Ralph & Alice
telling the Nortons it is their anniversary. After Alice & Trixie go
into the bedroom, Ed tells her a story on how he saw Trixie on the
job and he gave her a rose. He had to because it was her costume. Ha!

Ralph shows Ed what he is planning to give to Alice for the
anniversary. It is a box of 2000 matchsticks glued together the same
gift that Ralph wanted to give to Alice in "'Twas The Night Before
Christmas." Ralph says it is an exclusive thing, much like in the
Christmas episode. Alice comes out and gives Ralph her present. Ralph
opens it up. Ralph: "Gee, just what I always wanted. Money." Now
Ralph get can get that suede jacket he wanted.

Trixie gives Alice her gift which is the same gift that Ralph got for
Alice. Again, the same thing happens in the Christmas episode. Ed (to
Ralph): "Come on. Give her your gift." Ralph lies to Alice, saying
that the gift is coming on delivery. The girls go into the bedroom.

Ralph gets mad at Ed for putting him in a bigger spot than he already
is in. A delivery person comes with a dress for Mrs. O' Leary but no
one is there at her place. So he asks Ralph to hold onto it. Alice
sees Mrs. O' Leary's gift and assumes it belonggs to her. Alice goes
into the bedroom to try on the dress. Ralph gets mad because now he
has to get Mrs. O' Leary a dress. He hatches an idea on how to get
himself out of this mess without telling Alice that he lied and
without telling Mrs. O' Lear what happened to her dress. The plan is
so complicated that Ed said by the time Ralph gets finished, it will
be anniversary time again.

Alice comes out with Mrs. O' Leary's dress on and it doesn't take a
rocket scientist to figure out that the dress is a little big on
Alice. Trixie cuts the dress as Ralph becomes more nervous. Mrs. O'
Leary comes to the house and gets mad at what Alice & Trixie are
doing to her dress. The person who played Mrs. O' Leary is the same
person who played several characters on the show such as Mrs.
Manicotti, I think. Ralph confesses to her and gives her the $25 so
she can buy a new dress. Alice then confesses the truth to Alice.
Alice says she doesn't know why, but she loves him.

Credit goes to tvland.com, amazon.com and honeymooners. net

Episode Review: "Income Tax."

Episode #11
TV: Attached to "Manager of The Baseball Team" (1953 version.)
VCR: Attached to "My Fair Landlord."
DVD: Attached to "Songs & Witty Sayings" & "Norton Moves In."

Before I begin this review, I found out that this episode was made in
March about one month or so before Income Tax Day. Shouldn't this
episode have been made in April? Just a thought.

The episode opens up with Ralph going crazy looking for his Income
Tax form. He also said he went over one form svereal times before
finding out that it was an old bowling score. Ha!

He and Alice eventually sit down to try to do the Income Tax form.
Ralph reads the instructions. Alice asks Ralph if he knows what to
do. Ralph says he doesn't know what the instructions are much like
in "The Worry Wart" where Ralph reads the "Penalty For Failure to
Report Income" section.

After Ralph reads some of the instructions, Alice says an idiot can
figure that out. Ralph: "Don't worry. I'll get it." Basically, Ralph
just admitted that he's beyond an idiot. Ha!

Ed Norton comes down. He says he just got Trixie a gift that proves
that he still loves her. You know what it is? A new broom. Ha. Ralph
tells Ed how much of a hard time he is having by doing his Income Tax
form. Ed: "Maybe you'll get phenmonia(sp?) by March 15th." Yes floks,
Art made an error and should have said April 15th not March 15th.
Ralph wonders why. Ed says that is the best time to catch that
sickness. After that, Ed leaves.

Ralph and Alice go over the form some more. Ralph reads over all the
insurance about injuries and such. Alice says that he hasn't
experienced any of them. Ralph: "I guess I am the unluckiestguy in
the world." Ralph talks about the how costs are going up. Alice
counters by saying that the cost of milk is going down.
Ralph: "That's true, but has the cow said that milk is going down?
No."

Finally, Ralph has figured that he owes $15 but he isplanning on
using that $15 to buy a new bowling ball. A priest comes by and asks
for some money. Ralph gives him the $15. Ralph then goes on to make a
speech saying how great a country America is.

Credit goes to tvland.com, honeymooners.net., and Amazon.com.

Episode Review: "Alice's Aunt Ethel":

Episode #12
TV: Unknown.
VCR: Attached to "Hot Dog Stand."
DVD: Attached to "Principle of The Thing" & "Glow Worm Cleaning."

This episode was the first episode that was remade later on in the
show. The remake for this one was a "two-part" episode called "Goodby
Aunt Ethel." A longer and much more funny episode.

The episode opens with Alice coming into the kitchen. Ralph is
sleeping in the kitchen on a cot. Ralph is very angry that Alice's
Aunt Ethel is staying over. Aice tries to get the milk that is on the
fire escape. Ralph wonders what the noise is so Alice told him that
she is trying to open the window to give milk to Aunt Ethel.
Ralph: "Where is she, on the fire escape?" Ralph then is told that
the milk is outside. He offers to get the milk. He is even more mad
that Aunt Ethel is over at his house.

Ralph tries to get the milk, but the window is stuck. He says if he
lifts up the window any higher, he will lift the building off the
ground. Ha! He tries to get the milk, but accidently knocks the milk
off the escape. Ralph says that Aunt Ethel should go down there and
catch the milk before it falls to the ground.

Aunt Ethel comes out and Alice tells her that breakfast is ready.
Alice tells Ralph to go down to Krauss to get some milk. Ralph says
no. Ralph asks Alice to get rid of Aunt Ethel. Alice says that Aunt
Ethel has stayed longer than expected and she says that she
appreciates the fact that Ralph has been cooperative. Alice says she
will nicely try to get rid of Aunt Ethel. Aunt Ethel comes in and
helps Ralph fold up the cot. Ralph gets his finger stuck. Ralph (to
Aunt Ethel): "Drop your side." She does, but Ralph hurts his foot.
This scene would be repeated again in "Goodbye Aunt Ethel" &
probably "Battle of The Sexes" with Ed Norton and Ralph Kramden
folding up the cot.

Ed Norton comes down. Ralph explains his troubles to him. Ed says
something like: "Why don't you write a letter, saying: 'Your husband
misses you. Please come home. Sincerely, Your Husband.'" Ralph: "She
ain't married." Ed: "Then why did she leave home?" Ha!

Ed comes up with a plan to throw her out. Ed: "Why don't you yell out
the window: 'Fire!'" Ralph: "Suppose other people hear it. They will
think that it's a real fire." Ed: "Then you yell: 'Fire, Aunt
Ethel.'" Ralph: "You are a mental case." Ralph hatches a plan to get
ird of her by faking a back injury. Aunt Ethel comes in and hear the
fact that Ralph has back pain. Ralph says that he needs to be alone
with Alice and lay on a soft bed. Aunt Ethel says that now she is
staying due to Ralph's pain. Aunt Ethel says that sleeping on a soft
bed to get rid of back pain is a lot of modern fiddle faddle. She
says that Ralph should sleep on a hard floor to get rid of back pain.
Ralph is now even more upset being that he just blown a big
opportunity in his eyes.

Episode Review: "What's Her Name?"

TV: Not seen on TV (although the updated version called "What's The
Name?" is attached to "Lawsuit.")
VCR: Attached to "Brother-In-Law." ("What's The Name?" is attached
to "The People's Choice.")
DVD: Unknown. ("What's The Name?" is attached to "Goodbye Aunt
Ethel", "Vacation at Fred's Landing" [remake from Vol. 11] and The
Best of the Lost Episodes [bonus feature]

The episode opens up with the Kramdens returning home from the movies
with the Nortons. Ralph is upset because every time there was a love
scene in the movie, Ed had to kiss Trixie while he was between them.
Ha! In this episode, the lights in the apartment are on, so Ralph
questions why. Alice says the reason is to keep burglars away.
In "What's The Name?", in the opening scene, the lights are off, and
then turned on when Ralph and Alice return home. After Ralph yells at
Alice because he doesn't want to have a snadwich, Alice says it
wouldn't hurt for him to act like that Robert Coleman in that
picture.

Ralph comes out wearing a long-sleeve shirt and some loud boxers.
Alice laughs at what Ralph has on. As Ralph is putting on his robe,
Alice is talking about one of the girls in the movie that Ralph
probably liked. Alice said she got a lot of things from Max Factor.
Isn't it strange in a way that on this episode, there's a Max Factor
reference while he was still the makeup director I believe on I Love
Lucy? Looks like Max made a factor in the TV industry and the makeup
industry huh?

Alice then talks about some other girl in the picture that she can't
remember the girl. She asks Ralph. He doesn't know. He goes to sleep
and within 10 seconds he comes back out saying he can't sleep because
he can't think of the woman's name. One of the things that they try
to do is to sit down and get off the subject in hopes that they will
remember the name. This lasts for about five seconds. So Alice gets
the newspaper's theatrical section from the garbage can. Ralph reads
the names: "''Burning Lips'', Gary Coleman, Lana Turner...'"
Alice: "Well?" Ralph: "I can't read the other name. It has ketchup
all over it. Do you have to put ketchup on the garbage?" Question: If
Ralph wanted to know the name so bad, couldn't he just wipe the
ketchup off the name? Wouldn't the name still be readable? Ah,
whatever.

Ed Norton comes down. Ralph asks him to remember the names of the
people in the movie. When Ed gets down to Lana Truner, he asks Ralph
to keep on going while he still is thinking about Lana. Ha! The movie
theatre is a block or so away, so Ed looks out the window to see the
names. Alice: "Be careful Ed. You might fall out." Ralph: "That is a
chance we got to take." Gee, Ralh's a great friend, isn't he. (Note
the sarcasm.) Ed can't read all the star's names because Grogan's
boxer shorts are in his way. A policeman comes in. In "What's Her
Name?" A policeman comes in just when Ed is in the middle of reading
the star's name. The policeman says to cut out the racket or the
story will have to be told to the judge. Ralph: "That's it! Alene
Judge, that's her name." Ed goes home and the policeman leaves. Ralph
and Alice kiss.

This episode as I said before for some reason was later remade again.
It was called: "What's The Name?" Those two episodes are bascially
the same except in the latter episode, Ralph and Ed sing a duet in
the end which ends like this: Ralph (singing): "One of these days,
one of thse days...Pow!" Alice (singing): "Right in the kisser."
Ralph (singing): "One of these days, one of these days..." Both
(sing): "Pow!" After this song in "What's The Name?" Ralph and Alice
kiss.

Episode Review: "Ralph's Diet."
Episode #16
TV: Attached to "Alice Plays Cupid."
VCR: Attached to "The Adoption."
DVD: Unknown.

As the name implies, Ralph is on a diet. (A storyline device that
would repeat itself later on in the series.) Mrs. Manicotti comes
down and says that her husband's birthday is today and she wants to
hide the food until he gets home. She invites Ralph and Alice to come
but Alice decines. She thinks with all the food there, it would be
too tempting for Ralph. Mrs. Manicotti leaves the food in the Kramden
apartment and leaves. Alice puts the cake and turkey (the food Mrs.
Manicotti brought down) into a drawer, but before she closes it, she
puts her finger into the cake and licks it off her finger.

Ralph comes home and says the diet is off. Ralph also says that there
wasn't enough lunch for him. Alice: "You had enough food for you to
last five days." Ralph: "Is that so? Well, I would like to live for
six or seven days." Alice says the doctor told Ralph to go on a diet.
Ralph makes this excuse: "I drive a bus all day. I got to have
something that will stick to my ribs." Gee, what an excuse Ralph has.
Alice: "Look at the stomach." Ralph: "That is not my stomach. It
happens to be a very low chest."

Alice gives Ralph some juice that has the nourishment of a lot of
food, including steak. Ralph tries it and thinks that the people who
made the juice left out the steak. Ralph wants to go to the fridge
but Alice won't let him. Ralph then thinks that since he hasn't eaten
that much, maybe he lost enough weight all day. He gets on the scale.
Ralph: "I don't need the diet anymore. I lost a pound."
Alice: "Ralph, when you lose a pound, it's like Bayoone losing a
mosquito." What does Alice mean when she says this?

Ralph then tries to get his mind of food by reading a newspaper.
Within five seconds of reading it, he stops and syas: "I'm starving."
Ralph turns on the radio to hear a baseball game. The announcer for
the game promotes some food which of course causes Ralph to break the
radio. Ha!

Ed Norton comes down. So Alice tells him to make sure Ralph doesn't
eat. Ed (with a banana in his mouth): "What's cooking?" Ralph says
it's nothing. Ralph asks Ed for the banana as Ed is eating it. Ed
doesn't give him the banana. Ralph then asks why didn't Ed respond to
him. Ed: "I don't like to talk with my mouth full." Ed tries to help
Ralph by if he says that he doesn't like meatballs among some other
foods. Ed leaves saying he made himself hungry.

Ralph tries to leave in hopes of getting some food. Ralph spots the
cake and turkey in the drawer and immediately starts his feast.
Ralph: "Heaven! Heaven! Heaven! This is living." Alice and Mrs.
Manicotti come down and see the damage that Ralph did to the food.
Alice says to Mrs. Manicotti that she can go down to the store and
get another cake and turkey and that Ralph will pay for it. Ralph
says that he's sorry and that he will start a new diet tomorrow.
Yeah, sure he will. Alice forgives him and they embrace.

"Norton Moves In."

Episode #15
TV: Attached to "Dinner Guest."
VCR: Attached to "Songs & Witty Sayings."
DVD: Attached to "Songs & Witty Sayings" & "Income Tax."

This is one of my favorite 15 minute sketches. If you haven't seen
this episode yet, it does look funny on paper, doesn't it?

Trixie comes down to the Kramden apartment at 3am. Trixie reveals
that their apartment was painted today, though it was technically
yesterday since it is 3am. The paint smells awful. So she wonders is
her and Ed could come own and stay for the night. Alice obliges. Ed
Norton comes down and says thanks. He and Trixie go to get the cot.

Alice wakes up Ralph. Ralph thinks it's time to go to work, but Alice
tells him it's 3am. Ralph: "Why did you get me up at this time for?"
Alice: "The Nortons had their apartment painted today." Ralph: "Did
the news flash come across the radio?" Alice explains the the paint
smells awful in their house. Ralph: "Boy, that's a hot one. Norton
works in the sewer all day and he can't stand the smell of paint."
Hey everyone has a smell that they can and can't stand. Ralph has to
sleep in th kitchen with Ed. Ralph and Alice would wind up saying the
exact things to each other in this arguement in "Battle of The
Sexes."

Ed Norton comes down with the folding cot. Ed: "I hope I didn't
disturb your sleep." Ralph: "No, you didn't disturb my sleep. I get
up every morning at 3am to make sure I get a seat on the subway going
to work." The same sentences that Ralph and Ed just spoke would be
said again in "Battle of The Sexes."

Alice & Trixie go into the bedroom. Ed: "Hey Alice, if Trixie puts
her cold feet on your back, va va va voom." Ed sets up the cot that
he claims that he put up and took down 100 times. As he is etting it
up, you can see two of the front legs are not standing up straight.
Gee, I wonder what will happen when both men lie down on the cot?
Ralph lies down and because of the two front legs are not straight,
the cot collapses. Ralph: "I thought you put this up and took it down
100 times." Ed: "I do and the same thing always happens." Ed lies
down without taking his hat off. Gee, I didn't know that sleeping at
night with a hat like that was normal.

Ed gets Ralph up to get a cigarette and then a match. Ralph is trying
his best to not get angry. When Ed drops the match and Ralph feels
it, Ralph yells: "YEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!" Ralph,
gets up, does everything to make the pain go away. Alice and Trixie
come out. Ralph (to Alice): "You satisfied? You satisfied? Turning
this joint into a YMCA?" Ralph reveals that Ed Norton used him for an
ashtray because Ed wanted to smoke.

Ralph says the smell of paint never bothered him so it shouldn't
bother the Nortons. Ralph says to Ed: "Take your Erector set (the
cot) and get out of here." Alice says to Ralph that he will wake up
the neighbors because of his yelling. Ralph: "I hope they have to
have their apartments painted too. We will grab a brush and have a
ball." Gee, Ralph is sure being nice. Alice says that the Nortons are
going upstairs over her dead body. Ralph: "Don't tempt me." Ralph
insults Ed. So Trixie says: "Ed, are you going to stand there an let
this meathaead talk to you like that." Ed: "Of course not. Ralph, I
am mad at you." Ed says that without an angry tone in his voice which
makes it funny.

The Nortons leave angry at Ralph. Ralph says that Ed was never a
freind to him. Ralph says Ed always imposed on him, but when he
realizes that Ralph has always imposed on Ed, Ralph feels remoresful.
Ralph tries to go upstairs to get Ed and apologize. Ed comes in and
says: "I forgive you pal." Ralph says that they can spend the night
here after all. Ralph and Alice kiss and embrace.

Episode Review: "Dinner Guest.":
Episode #17
TV: Attached to "Norton Moves In."
VCR: Attached to "Letter To The Boss" & "Suspense."
DVD: Attached to "Letter To The Boss", "Suspense" & "Ralph Kramden's
Greatest Schemes."

This episode opens up with the Kramdens having dinner with the
Ralph's boss Freddie Muller and his wife. A different actor is
playing Freddie in this episode. In future episodes, the role was
filled by George Petrie. Fred says: "I ate so much the lid came of my
pot." Ralph laughs and repeats what he said to Alice, the only thing
is he gets the words mixed up so Fred corrects him. Ralph says that
if Fred doesn't finish his turkey, Alice will make Ralph have turkey
on Mon-Wed and have Apple pie on Thursday.

Ralph tries to talk to Fred about getting a promotion, but Alice cuts
Ralph off by saying: "Would you two like to wash your hands?" They do
just that. Ralph offers Fred a towel that says: "Hers." That's
because all the "His"'s are being cleaned.

Ralph orders Alice to shut that door so he can talk to ALice. He says
that every time Ralph wanted to talk to Fred about getting a
promotion, Alice has cut him off. To some people, on paper this would
seem like it's Alice's fault. But is it? The ending of this episode
tells us the question. Ralph calls Fred a moax behind his back. Gee,
that was very nice was it? Of course not. Ralph says to ALice that
since she has been offering Fred food: "Am I trying to get that
promotion or are you trying to become Fred's cook?" Fred comes out
along with his wife so Ralph sings: "I wish I was in Dixie."

Ralph offers to play poker. The boss says no. He and his wife want to
watch TV. Ralph says that if they had a TV Set, it would be getting
repaired. The boss has a car and one of the things that he offers is
a ride, then he offers to go to a drive-in movie. Ralph says no to
bot and in response to the latter, he says: "What for? We are all
married." Alice says to Ralph to tell them that joke you heard the
other day, but Alice accidently says it herself. Ralph he has heard a
1000 better jokes. He doesn't know where he got that one. Fred: "I
told you that joke the other day." Ouch!

Alice turns on the radio so they can listen to music. Ralph tries to
alk business with Fred, but he gets cut off when Fred says don't turn
the dial that is the type of music that he like, which is Mambo. I
kind of like the song that's playing too in a way. All of them end up
dancing to the music. Fred dances with Alice and Ralph dances with
the boss' wife (Harriett). In the middle of all this, Ed Norton comes
down. This is a scene that I like. Imagine if had a friend like Ed
Norton, he came down to see you, comes right through your door (and
in the process reveals one of their traits, not knocking on their
friend's door, just barging right in), and sees you with people that
s/he doesn't know and the people who s/he doesn't know doesn't know
him either. Ed apologizes becuase he didn't know the Kramdens had
company. He offers to dance to mambo correctly. Ed shows Harriett the
right way to mambo. He dances in a very funny way. MPI video said in
this episode: "Norton's patented body movements are precious as he
staelas the scene with
his famous Mambo step."

Ed offers to show Ralph the correct way. Yes, he dances with Ralph.
Ed accidently steps on Ralph's foot. So Ralph yells: "AAAAAHHHHHH!"
Jackie's facial expressions are great. Ed: "Now you are doing it."
Ralph: "You stepped on my foot." Ralph turns off the radio. Ralph
embarrasses Ed in front of Ralph's boss by yelling at him. Ed tells
Alice the club meeting is tonight. Alice says that because of the
company, she can't go. Fred and Harriett say don't worry, they have
to go anyway. They leave. Ed leaves, but before he leaves he says
his "goodbyes" to the boss and his wife and says that he enjoyed
dancing with Harriett more than he did with Ralph. I can't blame him!

After they leave, Ralph gives Alice a tongue lashing about Alice
cutting Ralph off whenever he wanted to talk business witht he boss.
Ralph: "Everytime tat I want you to help me out, you fail me." Ralph
says that every man in history has had a woman behind him. Ralph
brings up Napolean. Alice: "Don't tell me you are comparing yourself
to Napolean." Ralph: "There's one difference between me and Napolean.
He had his hand in his shirt because his hand was cold. I have my
hand in there because my heart aches." Alice: "Why don't you jump out
the window." Ralph: "You said that yesterday." Alice: "Yeah, but you
didn't do it." I wonder why. Alice says that Ralph doesn't scare her.
So Ralph says, that he may never be able to take Alice out. Alice
says that the last time they went out, Ralph had a Raccoon coat on
and they went to see Rudolph Valentino in "The Sheik."

The boss comes up to pick up his wife's purse. Ralph tries to talk
business again but Alice cuts him off again. Fred says that he had to
go to other dinners with some other bus drivers who work for the
Gotham Bus Company and all they wanted to do was talk business but
Ralph never said a word. It looks like Ralph is going to get his
promotion after all. Right? Right? After this episode, Ralph reveals
the fact that he's still a bus driver. The boss leaves and then Ralph
apologizes to Alice. Alice: "I love you Naploean." Ralph: "Josephine,
you're the greatest." They hug and kiss.