"Pins & Needles"

Maybe you had a bad day at work?? You need a good laugh to cheer you up. You can't listen to the wavs at work so here you can come and read a few lines to get you going. Well here is ten funny lines and punchlines from the show that just might do the trick.

(Of course this page is an excuse to apply the snow applet to the picture from the "Please Leave The Premises" episode.)

10.

Ralph: "Well Alice it looks like I won't be needing this lunch box much longer."

Alice: (excited) "Ralph, you're going on a diet!!"

Ralph: "NO, I am NOT going on a diet!!"

Alice: "What are ya getting a bigger one??"

9.

Ralph:"$600.00 thats peanuts, peanuts, what am I gonna do with peanuts??"

Alice: "Eat'em like an other elephant."

8.

Thelma: "O-KAY"

Ralph: "I said stop saying O-Kay It's very good sir, this happens to be my guest and I am your employer."

Thelma: "Some guest and some employer, The SIMP and the BLIMP!!"

7.

Ralph (yells to Mr. Johnson): "YOU ARE NOT GETTING ONE MORE DIME, NOT ONE THIN DIME"

Norton: " Ralph, Pins and needles, needles and pins."

Ralph "OH SHUT UP!"

6.

Norton: "Ralph!"

Ralph: "Yea??"

Norton: "Mind if I smoke?"

Ralph: "I don't care if ya burn".

5.

Ralph: "A group of men are picked to do a job, trained in the same fashion as each other, and there's always one man in the group that stands out far in front of the others."

Norton: "If you stood out any more in front you wouldn't be able to get behind the wheel of a bus!"

4.

Ralph: (going to play the coronet) "I dont know if I rememebr this song I got the music right here."

Alice : "Stand back Ed this is liable to be messy."

Ralph: "You're liable to be messy in a about 5 seconds from now!!"

3.

Ralph: "You wanna peanut butter sandwich?"

Norton: "I dont like peanut butter! I like apples, and oranges, and bananas, hey Ralph is that the crunchy kind?"

Ralph: "Yes, it's the crunchy kind and I can prove it to you , when this jar hits your head you'll hear a crunch!!!"

2.

Norton: When the tides of life turn against you, and the current upsets your boat, don't waste your tears on what might have been just lay on your back and float

1.

Ralph: (on the phone) Hello Mr. Marshall?, this is Ralph Kramden. I called to tell you I quit. That's right, and further more, YOU!! ARE A BUM!!!!

Now what are you mad about?? LOL Have a wonderful day!!!